How to Get Your News Ignored

January 8, 2012

Want to make certain that your press releases and pitches get ignored by reporters and editors?  It’s easy.  Here are a few tips:

The reverse pyramid method is so yesterday!  Why not build a little suspense and bury the news in the third paragraph?

Repeat key words frequently.  Your press release will be boring and redundant, but search engines will be more likely to find it.

Make the first paragraph of each release at least 100 words long.

Send out at least one press release a week, whether or not your company is doing anything newsworthy.

When writing a quote, always begin with, “We’re excited … “  As in, “We’re excited to be selling our business, because now we can all look for new jobs.”

Claim that your product or company is “unique,” but don’t explain why and don’t provide any proof that it’s unique.  Your word is good enough, isn’t it?

Have your college intern make follow-up calls to all media on your extensive media list.

If you’re writing about software, be certain to claim that it is “robust.”  Have you ever read a press release for a software product that didn’t say the software is “robust?”  For extra points, claim that your software is “best of breed.”  We’re not sure how anyone can breed software, but it’s apparently done all of the time.

Do not send your press release to a specific person.  Send it to “news@,” “info@,” “newsroom,” or some other generic address.  If you call a media outlet, especially a television station, you will be told to send your press release or pitch to the generic address, because “we all read it when it goes there.”  They don’t.

Send the press release as an attachment.  It may never make it past the spam filter, but it will look better than if you embed it in an e-mail.  Better yet, have a professional designer create an attractive press release in html.

Sent it to media who have absolutely nothing to do with the topic covered by the press release.

Create a media list based solely on the online service you’ve paid for.  You’ve paid thousands of dollars to use the service, so the names must be accurate, right?

Send out the press release just before the company president or other media spokesperson is going on vacation.

Don’t follow the AP stylebook.

Take a “me too” approach.  Your competitor get good media coverage, so you should, too, since you’re announcing the same thing.

Do it yourself.  Who needs professional help?


Absolutamente GENIAL!

Thanks for such a refreshing piece! ... It is always important to know that one is not alone in this "communications" battle against the world.

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